Porn I Like: Rape

So I’ll just admit it up front rather than working up to it: I like rape porn. This includes porn in comic, story, or even live action form (when done well). I think this is an extension of the fact that I like the rough stuff, taking it to yet another level, but I couldn’t say for sure.

This is definitely related to my “line between fantasy and deviant perversion” post because I would not, repeat not, be turned on by non-consensual sex in real life. And yes, I phrased it that way on purpose: any time I have sex, I want both partners to be completely into it; I don’t want to force myself on anyone – quite the opposite, I want her to beg for it. It’s more than just saying “I wouldn’t rape anybody,” it’s, “I wouldn’t have any sexual contact with a woman unless she wanted it.”

Does that get in the way when proceeding with women who want men to just “take it?” Yes it does, but I’m fine with that conflict. If I’m not sure about a situation and don’t proceed because of that lack of clarity it might mean I’ll be giving up sex when I could have had it, but it definitely means I’m not raping anybody. In fact, there have been women in my past where sexual relationships didn’t work out and I think a major component of the problem was that I wasn’t rough enough with them in our initial couplings. But I can’t immediately get that rough, I have to be sure that we’re on the same page. That I’m not, in fact, raping anybody.

That scenario isn’t so rare as you might think, by the way. I find that rape fantasies are actually quite common, in both men (fantasizing about raping) and women (fantasizing about being raped).

Wait... let me back up and say that again, with an important caveat: I used to be much more heavily involved in certain sex blog communities, and ANECDOTALLY SPEAKING, BUT NOT BASED ON ANY FORM OF SCIENTIFIC POLLING DATA IN ANY WAY WHATSOEVER – OR EVEN SHITTY POLLING DATA – I find that rape fantasies are actually quite common, in both men (fantasizing about raping) and women (fantasizing about being raped). I have no idea if gay or bi-curious men also fantasize about getting raped.

I can easily see myself enacting these types of fantasies with someone, except that, as mentioned, I’d have to know that she’s actually into it, which would lessen the realism. Safewords can only go so far; again, if I’m not sure I won’t proceed.

Speaking of reducing the realism, even though my enjoyment of rape porn is limited to fantasy (not raping women in real life), it turns out that the porn has to be realistic for it to be good. Like any other porn, if it feels too cheezy it will take you out of the moment – oh, but there’s a nuance here, because although it has to be realistic, it can’t be real. I’ve seen hidden camera videos where it seems like a woman was actually getting raped, and not only is it not a turn-on, it’s downright disturbing. (I’ve never watched a full video along those lines; when I see something like that I immediately click it off.) This could be why rape porn in comic or erotic literature form is often more palatable to me than the live action stuff, because it can be completely realistic but without anyone actually getting raped.

And that is, in fact, where I started getting into rape porn. Just like with some other forms of porn I like I first saw it in comics and then progressed from there. It started back in my BitTorrent days when I came across some comics from someone called Mr. X, from websites such as Danger Babe Central or Superheroine Central, which are (as the names imply) centred around female superheroes who keep getting captured and raped. At the same time I was also seeing some comics from the Fansadox franchise, especially from Gary Roberts, which are also centred around a lot of rape, often of a very violent nature. And I didn’t like it. At all. I remember thinking that it was a pity, because the comics were drawn well, it was just subject matter I disliked. (I purposely didn’t include any links to any of this stuff.)

This was at a time when I was downloading batches of porn, consuming it at my leisure, and then deleting the stuff I didn’t like, so I was deleting all of the rape-related comics. And yet... I found that when I was going back to PureTNA for more porn, I’d continue to download those comics when I saw new “episodes” (or whatever they call them). Especially the Superheroine stuff. I gradually realized that I’d developed a bit of a fascination with it. Once I had that realization, I stopped stopping myself, and went ahead and continued downloading it, even moving on to download the Fansadox and Gary Roberts stuff.

As I say, I can’t really articulate why it is that I like rape porn (any more than I can articulate why I like any of the other stuff), but I can say some reasons I don’t like it, and I can say with certainty that for me it’s never about any form of “revenge.” I’m not into the “‘fan’ fiction” kind of stories (or comics) where a real celebrity is supposedly raped. Nor, along similar lines, am I into the “ex gf revenge” type of stories, where some dude “gets back at” his ex girlfriend by writing a story where she gets raped. It’s never about revenge, for me, and the revenge aspect I see in some stories is a turn-off. If anything, I see that type of rape fantasy as a very impotent move: if you're writing a story like that you’re just proving that you’re powerless in the situation, even though you were trying to show the opposite.

And that’s, I guess, all I have to say about that. I know I don’t have many readers, but I’m perfectly willing to have a conversation on this if anyone wants to. I’m definitely not going to try to convince you that rape porn is great, or that you should start consuming it. I didn’t even put any pictures on this post; not so much because I’m worried about offending anyone (on a blog about porn), but because it can be very triggering for some people. The post is bad enough, without getting graphic.

Frankly, I’m not sure why I even wrote this, when the only reaction I’m foreseeing is negative. (And, to be clear, I won’t argue against that reaction if it comes. You’re right.) But if I’m going to explore how I interact with porn on this blog, I need to go into it all the way. If I start pulling my punches, or only writing posts that I think people will agree with, the blog won’t work. If I like a type of porn that will leave me condemned as a terrible person, then I need to own up to it. Hell, maybe I’ll even change.